I recently started reading, “The Pathwork of Self-Transformation” by Eva Pierrakos. From what I’ve gleaned so far, the Pathwork process is about finding the unresolved conflicts within you that create turmoil, problems, tensions in your life.
It reminded me of the concept of Polarity Management, the ability to manage conflicting desires, needs, yearnings.
The elusive balance we often seek is actually a constant swinging between competing interests, values, ideals. Most people want to feel a sense of accomplishment (which often comes from hard or dedicated work) and still enjoy free time for play and relaxation.
We want companionship AND independence, community AND individuality. We want simplicity but not boredom, organization and stability, but not a lot of rules and regulations.
– when you swing too far to one side focusing on one quality (eg., work), you reach a point of diminishing returns or extremes, and problems erupt. So you need to adjust and loop back around with the other quality for a while. Then when that goes too far you swing back again. Only in the middle (see the infinity sign), is there the point of balance.
So it is that we navigate through life finding ourselves swinging between our competing ideals.
The Pathwork book got me to thinking about the polarity of my life and the “Shoulds” I learned growing up. Most of the “Shoulds” I learned were there to help me be a functioning, responsible, capable person. I’m glad I learned them.
But without also recognizing the value of opposite qualities, what some call the Shadow or hidden side, I am not able to see how I negate or run away from the very quality that will bring balance.
As I sat down to write this blog, I realized we are quickly approaching the Spring Equinox. A time of Balance. As we move from darkness to greater light, we reach that wonderful, tender, fleeting time of balance in our day (March 20th this year).
During this week of Spring, I want to claim my Inner Balance.
I created a list of qualities that I’ve learned from my life experiences are important to guide my way, honoring both so I find Balance. I want to honor and accept both the Light and the Shadow qualities (It’s OK to be Strong and OK to be Vulnerable) so I don’t have to continue my inner struggle or outer-world turmoil.
Just as the seasons change naturally, with no season being “right” or “wrong”, I’ve come again to the understanding that no quality is inherently right or wrong. They are all needed at times, and they all bring balance.
I invite you to review your life and see what qualities are creating the competing forces in your life. Develop your list of what helps you find balance within you and in your life.
Walk in Balance,
Linda J. Ferguson, Ph.D. is a Job and Life Coach. She offers guidance and fresh perspectives to help you have successful work and balanced life. Visit www.lindajferguson.com/coaching/ for more information.
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