How to Build Your Self-Confidence: Numerous Guidelines and Resources

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    © Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

    Sections of This Topic Include

    What is Self-Confidence? Self-Esteem?

    Self-confidence is being certain and trusting about yourself in regard to addressing certain tasks or all tasks. Self-confidence is a source of assertiveness, which is fully representing yourself (your opinions, recommendations, etc.) to others.

    Research shows strong relationships between self-confidence and achievement, as well as surviving serious medical procedures. It also is associated with a higher likelihood of survival from threatening medical situations.

    People sometimes confuse self-confidence with self-esteem. Self-esteem is one’s overall belief in their value as an individual, a human being. Thus, the concepts of self-esteem and self-confidence are closely related.

    What is Your Self-Esteem Score?

    Although self-confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, they are closely related. Here is an online scale to give you some impression of the strength of your self-esteem.

    Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale

    What did you learn about yourself? What might you want to change? Consider some of the following suggestions about increasing your self-esteem.

    How to Boost Your Self-Confidence

    Research suggests that one of the best ways to boost self-confidence is to focus more on what you are good at and less on what you are not good at. However, that is easier said than done — unless you focus on the behaviors that are good about you.

    There are many ways to increase your self-confidence. With any of them, though, it requires practice. This is an ongoing process and not an event.

    Here are some suggestions. You do not need to practice them all. More important than doing them all is picking some — and practicing them.

    Caution: The following are not meant to be medical advice to treat depression. If you have ongoing and debilitating feelings of low self-worth, you should seek attention from a qualified mental health professional.

    • What does a self-confident person look like? What do they say? What do they do?
    • Imagine yourself being more confident, assertive, and appreciated. What do you look like? What are you saying? What are you doing?
    • Make a list of the successes that you have had in your life. Post that list where you have to see it.
    • Imagine yourself surviving a rejection of something. For example, imagine someone telling you that your idea is not a good one. Then look at your list of successes again.
    • Practice a positive posture. For example, stand taller and sit up straighter than usual.
    • Help someone else do something you are good at. For example, sign up to tutor someone.
    • Once a week, do something that seems scary to you. For example, be the first to speak up in a group.
    • Polish your skills in public speaking. For example, sign up for Toastmasters, the organization that helps people build skills and confidence in public speaking.
    • Every morning, say at least one affirmation to yourself. For example, answer “I am good at doing ___”.
    • Stand up to being hurt, bullied, or insulted. For example, say what they did that was an affront to you and how you felt. Know that the rest of the exchange is all about them and not about you.
    • Do one form of exercise each day. Exercise has been proven to release chemicals in your body that help you to feel better.
    • Sign up for a quote-a-day that shares inspirational messages. For example, sign up for Inspiring
      Quotes to Help You Get Through Your Day
    • Use mindfulness to focus on the present, rather than on your feelings of low confidence. Mindfulness is about focusing on the present, for example, on what is going on around you.
    • Tell someone else about your lack of self-confidence. How did they react? What can you learn from them?

    Numerous Guidelines to Build Your Self-Confidence

    Additional Resources to Build Your Self-Confidence

    Start an Informal Study and Support Group to Help You

    It is often not enough merely to get some advice about what you should do in order to improve yourself. Otherwise, a lot of us who have needed to lose some weight would have already done that. For example, we already knew that we needed to cut back on calories and do more exercise.

    Instead, it helps greatly for us to have some ongoing support and accountabilities to actually apply the advice that we are given. You can start an informal support group by gathering at least two other people who want to improve some aspect of themselves. Here are time-tested, straightforward guidelines for doing that.
    Procedure to Start Your Own Study and Support Group

    Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Confidence and Self-Confidence

    In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which have posts related to Confident and Self-Confidence. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also, see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click on “Next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.

    For the Category of Personal Wellness:

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